We can't find the path we are searching for, personal and social acceptance of our whole self,  if we struggle to understand and accept who we are.

There is reality, and there is our perception of the world around us. The bigger the gap between these two, the greater our inner conflict and confusion.

We have an internal 'compass' and a very busy mind. That compass is a whisper deep within, the monkeys (and ego) in our mind are screaming at us.

The monkeys come from nurture, our upbringing, the lessons learned about how to survive in the external world, how to conform and belong to social groups. Strength in numbers, after all.

The compass is our nature, we're born with it. It helps us follow our natural abilities, awareness, temperament and needs, it helps us see, understand and align with reality.

Often these two conflict - the monkeys trying to keep us 'safe' in our social groups, the ego trying to 'protect' the self, and the compass trying to align us with the real world.

That conflict between external acceptance, ego/self and inner alignment are the deeper source of our confusion, inner conflict and suffering.

That compass keeps trying to point us in the right direction, while the mind struggles to keep us aligned with society, where ever it goes.

As children, we are taught what parts of us are acceptable, how to act and that which we must hide. This prioritizes external survival and can require that we suppress or deny parts of our inner self, in order to gain and maintain external acceptance and survival, especially as a vulnerable child.

As a result, there's a part of ourselves hidden away, often hidden from our own awareness, maybe deeply rooted in fear and avoidance, which prevents us from fully understanding and accepting our whole self and our full ability.

That missing part of ourselves is what holds us back. It's the missing piece to the puzzle you've been seeking.

The inner conflict, anxiety, fear, confusion, overwhelm, ultimately comes from those conflicting signals between inner nature and external acceptance, it comes from missing a part of who we are, struggling to find acceptance of it, while also trying to avoid and deny it as much as possible.

The way to find that piece and finally solve the puzzle, is a journey that requires a few steps:

• Openness to feeling and going deeper. We have to be committed to going 'there' and figuring out what's hidden within.

• Awareness of our actions, reactions and inner compass - the automated coping mechanisms, the monkeys, the avoidance, fear and blind spots.

• Understanding what we find, what is hidden within and how it affects our life and experience.

• Acceptance of what is hidden away and needed, so we can begin to work with it.

• Integration / Action - Leaning into what we find and actively integrating it into our awareness and life, building a WHOLE version of ourselves.

By focusing on that inner self, developing awareness of it, we are able to leap past the monkeys, defenses and emotions that often keep us trapped and conflicted.